A ten-year-old kid recreates the “Bad Romance” video.

The music video for Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” premiered today, and it’s pretty much the best thing ever. The premise? A group of jealous supermodels kidnap Gaga and force her to drink vodka…and other weird things. The vid is a tribute to the “tough female spirit” and is directed by the “I Am Legend” dude.

Let’s liveblog the best moments!

0:51: The way she moves her hand? Obsessed. There’s something wrong with Esther, you guys.

1:15: Her expression here is too amazing.

1:51: Vodka nom nom nom

2:02: Love the moment when the jacket is pulled off. Swarovski meets prostitute.

2:28: The best/weirdest (with Gaga, this distinction is redundant) lyric in this song is clearly “Want you in my room when your baby is sick.” (WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!?!?!) I love it even more after this video. Just for a moment, Gaga goes all charades and makes a pregnancy motion. In case you thought the lyric was a metaphor or something. Love it love it love it.

2:42: Evil cat!

3:03: Feel like I’m watching “Heroes.” This is so Hiro Nakamura right now.

3:11: Best dance sequence in the entire video. Mia Michaels would approve.

3:24: Okay. I think we’re all over the solar system thing. Once or twice was enough, Gaga.

3:29: THE CLAW

3:44: The polar bear dress is weirdly beautiful. Is that weird to say?

4:41: Hit ‘pause’ at this moment. It’s a gorgeous shot. Props.

4:58: Have absolutely no idea what this is supposed to mean/say/represent. But I’m 100% sure it’s brilliant.

I’m left with two questions: 1) How is she going to continue to top herself? This is her first video as an A-list star, and she kills it. Where do you go from here? 2) She always looks wildly different whenever I see her, but it’s particularly weird here. HER FACE NEVER LOOKS THE SAME IN EACH SHOT. I have seen hundreds of pictures of her and would still probably not recognize her walking down the street.